It’s commonly known that women prefer men who have their things figured out. Most will only notice you once you’re well-established, and it’s no coincidence. The question is why? Are couples not supposed to help build each other? The bottom line is: it’s all about purpose and stages of life. Finding your purpose comes first, your Why is everything.

Finding Your Purpose Builds Confidence

The more invested you are in your future, the more confident you’ll get. But the only way to invest in your future is to figure out what it should be, isn’t it? Confidence makes you more attractive, it sets you apart from other people, as, let’s be honest, most don’t have a clue where they’re going. By figuring out your why, you become wiser and more focused. Becoming a deep thinker, concerned about your future, you send all the signals that you’ll also be ready to focus on a future for the two of you. This type of reassurance is priceless. 

Can Women Not Help You Find Your Purpose?

Saying this cannot happen or cannot work would be obviously misleading. There are plenty of examples in history, where a wife helped her husband build himself. But is that the best possible scenario?

Women are still inclined to want to be with you and help you in the process but that’s never a good idea. Being in a relationship before you have figured out yourself will only make things unnecessarily difficult. That’s because you cannot give your best self to the relationship – as you haven’t found your best self yet. That’s why I believe it is a major “no-no”. As soon as you get in a relationship, you’re focused on other things and not yourself only. Not to mention the resentment that could be a consequence of not having had time for yourself first. 

We also need to point out that women are driven by emotions. Oftentimes, when you think things are running smoothly, the future will prove you wrong, and remind you of all the things you haven’t figured out about for yourself. 

It Is Not Fair on Your Partner

Finding your purpose is your mission, and your mission only. Expecting your partner to make that happen for you is simply unfair, let’s be real.

Earlier on in my life, I used to be with a girl and things were nice at the start. But I still had a lot to figure out, my situation far from ideal. She was aware, and we thought it could work. But, as soon as her friends started travelling as a couple, her desire to have that in her life sparked up, and that started putting a strain on the relationship. I was in a difficult position. Her behaviour started to change over time. But as I said, women are emotionally driven. Her emotions took over the knowledge she had that I was not ready for this.

If you want to be able to handle your partner’s emotions and care for them, you must invest in yourself first and understand yourself. This truth isn’t only to be applied to relationships, it is essential to find your purpose before getting on with other things in life. Have you found yours yet? Let me know in the comments.

Click here to listen to the full discussion finding your purpose before getting into a relationship.

My book “I Am Visible” will be out soon so please an eye out for that.