It’s commonly known that women prefer men who have their things figured out. Most will only notice you once you’re well-established, and it’s no coincidence. The question is why? Are couples not supposed to help build each other? The bottom line is: it’s all about purpose and stages of life. Finding your purpose comes first, your Why is everything.
Finding Your Purpose Builds Confidence
The more invested you are in your future, the more confident you’ll get. But the only way to invest in your future is to figure out what it should be, isn’t it? Confidence makes you more attractive, it sets you apart from other people, as, let’s be honest, most don’t have a clue where they’re going. By figuring out your why, you become wiser and more focused. Becoming a deep thinker, concerned about your future, you send all the signals that you’ll also be ready to focus on a future for the two of you. This type of reassurance is priceless.
Can Women Not Help You Find Your Purpose?
Saying this cannot happen or cannot work would be obviously misleading. There are plenty of examples in history, where a wife helped her husband build himself. But is that the best possible scenario?
Women are still inclined to want to be with you and help you in the process but that’s never a good idea. Being in a relationship before you have figured out yourself will only make things unnecessarily difficult. That’s because you cannot give your best self to the relationship – as you haven’t found your best self yet. That’s why I believe it is a major “no-no”. As soon as you get in a relationship, you’re focused on other things and not yourself only. Not to mention the resentment that could be a consequence of not having had time for yourself first.
We also need to point out that women are driven by emotions. Oftentimes, when you think things are running smoothly, the future will prove you wrong, and remind you of all the things you haven’t figured out about for yourself.
It Is Not Fair on Your Partner
Finding your purpose is your mission, and your mission only. Expecting your partner to make that happen for you is simply unfair, let’s be real.
Earlier on in my life, I used to be with a girl and things were nice at the start. But I still had a lot to figure out, my situation far from ideal. She was aware, and we thought it could work. But, as soon as her friends started travelling as a couple, her desire to have that in her life sparked up, and that started putting a strain on the relationship. I was in a difficult position. Her behaviour started to change over time. But as I said, women are emotionally driven. Her emotions took over the knowledge she had that I was not ready for this.
If you want to be able to handle your partner’s emotions and care for them, you must invest in yourself first and understand yourself. This truth isn’t only to be applied to relationships, it is essential to find your purpose before getting on with other things in life. Have you found yours yet? Let me know in the comments.
Click here to listen to the full discussion finding your purpose before getting into a relationship.
My book “I Am Visible” will be out soon so please an eye out for that.
Great insight. It is indeed very wise to figure out oneself before anything else, it makes for healthier relationships as well.
So later down the road the two individuals don’t drift apart because of the different paths they’ll have chosen.
Thanks for sharing.
this is great insight Mrs.Ferguson fully agree, just know we ain’t drifting nowhere 🙂
Great article….I do agree with the concept of finding yourself first. The sense of self worth after finding what your desires and goals are often outlines the path which you need to take to feel fulfilled. This self journey enlightens your motivators, boost your self esteem and ensures that you are your true self before entering a relationship. My analogy is that your journey will only be heightened, when you find that individual who either shares your passion or pushes you to accomplish your goals.
Looking forward to the book 📖
nothing to add here brother you nailed it.
This is so inspiring. I had been thinking really hard about what I really want to do with my life, I have been praying about it.
A times a few things would pop up in my head and I said yes, that’s what I would like to do. But soon after my feelings change.
But as you said, knowing what you want to do and work towards it build up your confidence and self esteem.
You can’t wait on another person to make up your mind for you because as you also said, some people are emotional driven and emotions changes ever so often.
So, find your purpose and work on it will be far more progressive than waiting for someone to live their dreams via your path, claiming that’s your purpose.
this is great insight sister and so very true. there are ways to search for and identify your purpose and the most important thing you need to be aware of is that your purpose is already inside you. God created you with the purpose you seek, a few ways to identify your purpose. Ask the people who are closest to you: the majority of the time we are already living in our purpose without knowing and we are already helping people through our purpose without even knowing. Reach out to me privately and we can discuss further.